I’ve made some critical decisions of late regarding my university studies, living arrangement and currently at 12:26am on a Thursday – course choice.
Recently I decided, that “There’s no place like home” and made the decision to make the long boat ride home at the end of the semester to continue my studies in Tasmania. There were many reasons for this decision, and I won’t bore you with them. As much as I love Melbourne and everything it has to offer, Tassie will always have such a special place in my heart, and right now, it’s where I want to be.
This choice led me to applying to a bachelor of arts/business at the University of Tasmania, where I was hoping my year and a half of my business degree at La Trobe would transfer down to and I could pick up where I left off. But no, the universe is not that kind. The lovely people at UTAS have decided that a whopping one, yes ONE, subject would transfer credit to my new course. How god damn interesting and very helpful.So currently I’m in talks with La Trobe about continuing my course online but the co-ordinator, bless his soul, is away on holidays and still replied to my dramatic email, said that there’s a lot of research and time that it will take to see if my course can be done that way. Which to me sounds like code for, really? why you do this to me? And at first glance there’s a lot of subjects I’m doing that may not be able to be done that way.
Last night I went out with some friends to an event named Ag Barbie (BYO BBQ). Where I had a few beverages and promptly told people I’m moving. What a better way to get the word out. But in my not so sober state, I started thinking what on earth I was going to do. My plans had come crashing down in a matter of days. I came up with some theories like maybe just taking a semester off and come back to La Trobe in 2018, maybe I’ll just start this business degree again in Tas, maybe I’ll enrol at a different uni online and see if they can count more than one subject, maybe uni isn’t for me and I’ll just do makeup full time. All of these idea’s are valid options, but none of them scream YES. You know what I mean? Like none of them are what’s right for me, none of them are the right fit.
So as I sit here at 12:49am, I think that perhaps I have found the answer. I still need to do a lot of research and obviously discuss the option with the family. But. I think what I need is a fresh start. New degree, new major, new uni, new place. I think one of the reason’s I’m struggling so hard is the fact that I’m simply finding my degree boring and perhaps the issue is that my heart isn’t in it. I think of event management and marketing and I don’t get excited anymore, I don’t think it’s me.You read so many things online about how you go through 14 years of schooling asking to go to the toilet, being told when to eat, how to act, what’s acceptable, having all these decisions in your life made for you. Then one day, you sit down with the lovely futures staff (futures captain 2014 right here) and they ask you what you want to do/study post year 12. And for the first time in 14 years, you have to make a decision that effects the rest of your life. The futures staff at my school, were lovely people, and at the time I knew exactly what I wanted to do, where I wanted to live and the direction in life I wanted to go. But I’m not the same person I was when I was 18, I’ve changed my thoughts, the way I look, my passions, my location, my life. I’ve come to the realisation that the decision I made as a little 18 year old in her futures meeting that day, may not be the right path or choice for me. It’s such a hard thing to come to terms with. Perhaps making the move to Melbourne wasn’t what was right, but it was needed to get to where I am today. I think of all the time and money (omg don’t talk to me about my HECS debt) I have put into my year and a half in Melbourne and can’t help but think what a waste it has been. But It’s given me such a different perspective on my life and the decisions I make. I’ve had the chance to live and work independently, to do my makeup course, nail a killer job in the industry, make some beautiful friends, learn a little about business, become so much closure with my aunty and cousins (love you) and more importantly understand the value of family.
At this stage I don’t know what I’ll be doing post June, but I do know that I’m on the boat home on the 29th and that is one thing that is right.
I’ll be sure to keep you updated with the catastrophe that is my life.
Thanks for reading,
(Also sorry about lack of posts lel, my bad)